MAYBE ALL THE PLASTIC SURGERY HAS LEFT HER WITHOUT TEAR DUCTS?

Kidman dry-eyed as 'Paperboy' gets standing ovation at Cannes; co-star Efron brought to tears

I do think she looks stunning although I question her high beams sticking out of the dress.
I can't see the weather being that cold at Cannes.
J Lo has a nipple tweeker for her videos
...seriously...
maybe Ol' Shark Eyes has one on staff too.

WELCOME BACK DEAR FRIEND

Libby and I are both from Alanis' hometown.
We both have "property" close to where Alanis' parents are rumoured to live.
Long before Adele ever gave me goosebumps..... Ms Alanis Morissette was looking into my heart and I believe, living in my brain. 

I was DELIGHTED to hear that Alanis had a new album (is that still the word for it?) coming out.  The first single Guardian (as recorded on the Ellen show) lives up to my high, high expectations of the woman I believe to be one of the best songwriters in the world.



Study #1: You Ought to Know

Many of you will understand the heartbreak of these lyrics.... and really, we have all thought them.

I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
You can watch it here.... intro'd by ELLEN again !!!!!!



Study #2: Uninvited

Just listen.  You will have goosebumps soon enough. 



Study #3: Hands Clean

The updated version of Don't Stand So Close to Me by the Police.

Without question.

Way to stick it to pervy manager.

From wiki:
She (Alanis) reportedly said in an interview to US Weekly that the song is about an affair she had with a man when she was 14.

Of course no discussion of Ms Alanis Morissette would be complete without mention of the launch pad of her illustrious career...... You Can't do That on Television.

Welcome back my friend.

IT'S LIKE SHE HAS ESPN OR SOMETHING.

As soon as I read Libby's blog referencing the Mean Girls I turned on the tv and what was on..... Mean Girls.... with one of my favourite lines...

"It's like I have ESPN or something".

Hocus pocus!!!!!!

BTW -- paging Lindsay Lohan, paging sane Lindsay Lohan.  We miss you.

And now I will be tuning into one of my fav non-John Hughes movies.... The Fugitive.

Here is the greatest scene from The Fugitive....

The fugitive's name is Dr Richard Kimball.

I would still be game for a big dirty throw down with Tommy Lee Jones.  Any time.  Any place. 

HOW DO YOU MEND A BROKEN HEART IN 2012

The same way we did back in the 80's.
Jake Ryan picks you up in his 944.

My husband Wyatt, Mr.Libby as Parker calls him, has ALWAYS been my Jake Ryan.
Our oldest son has a broken heart. He is devastated.
The girl he risked it all for has turned out to be more Jersey Shore than I gave her credit for.
There's also an element of "Jerry, who's the Baby Daddy?" mixed in now too.
Our son lives 2 hours away.
This morning, Wyatt picked up our son on his doorstep to bring him home.
Wyatt was driving his Jake Ryan 944.
He then sent me a text, our son was doing good and they were en route back home.
As for the ex girlfriend, I can say with certainty that she has never heard of Jake Ryan.
If I have it my way, she never will.

XRAY VISION

Parker is THEE friend who has xray vision.
Parker has been able to see straight past things most others get stuck on and I do the same for her.
Neither one of us is the other's Jiminy Cricket....BELIEVE me LOL.
Our friendship has always been based on laughter, navigating through the mean girls and self serving a-holes  of life and then laughter once again.
14 emails later (see Back to the Future) and my morning follow up email said: "Did you touch it?"
Turns out, she already had - AWESOME.

BACK TO THE FUTURE WITH PARKER + LIBBY

Parker here.

Libby and I have known each other and been friends for a long long time.  Since grade 9.

We have both been through the ups and downs of love.

We have both been married and then not married.

Libby is now with the love of her life.  I say that with no hesitation.  The one who has been perfect for her all along.  The perfect Robert Smith meets Jake Ryan meets awesome guy.  Did I mention Robert Smith?????  Everytime I think of Mr Libby I hum "Friday, I'm in love".

Note to readers I knew Mr Libby LONG before Libby knew Mr Libby!!!! He is from my "side of the river".

Me, on the other hand, the ink is still drying on my divorce.

However..... it is now time for me to start thinking about dating. 

Not serious dating. 

Certainly no meet the parents (or my kids!) dating.... (esp if you knew my parents!).... but let's go have a drink, I will tell you how funny you are, we'll drink a bit too much and go home and close the deal dating..... the I have a family wedding can you be my plus one dating.....

Libby and I have exchanged about 14 emails today on whether I should email this particular guy or not.

I am taken Back to the Future.... to Libby's basement in the 80's and endless hours of talk of boys and Michael Jackson, Madonna and of course, Bruce Springsteen.

FOR MY BOY, GEORGE.

The 1994 Dodge Viper.

In all it's glory.

SILVER HOOPS

SMELLS LIKE TEEN SPIRIT

Oh no it doesn't.

It smells like Axe.

Lots and lots of Axe.

My 11 year old son went to a "community youth dance".

He packed his outfit, a toothbrush, toothpaste and FOUR, yes FOUR variations of Axe.

Talk about pollution.

BATH HOUSES, SAUNAS AND A SWEATHOG - OH MY!

I've been waiting patiently to see if Parker would blog on this topic.
To quote our beloved Jeff Spicoli - No dice.
John Travolta is a BIG PERV...
A perv in the Peewee Herman and George Michael style of BIG PERV.
John, you are an A1 hypocrite!
I don't care if you are a closet gay, I don't care what your sexual preferences are, I don't even care that you are a perv.
I do care that you are a member of a church that doesn't "agree" with homosexuality.
Scientology believes homosexuality can be cured.
Of all the people I would avoid pissing off, the Homosexual community would be near the top of my list.
Good luck with your career Staying Alive.

PARKER = CLOSET POLITICAL NERD.

It is true.

I am a political nerd.  I have gone this long without outing myself..... but Lord Black has made me do it.......

Which is why I am FIXATED on the "welcome home photos" of Conrad Black.....

WTF?  How do you stay fat or get fatter in jail? 

And WTF happened to Barbara Amiel Black's face..... A little beauty lesson from Nicole Kidman, perhaps????

The Beastie Boys

Adam "MCA" Yauch, founding member of The Beastie Boys, died yesterday.
He was 47 years old.
Very sad.
I have never been a fan of The Beastie Boys although I do/did appreciate their contribution to music.
In the 80's, I would have LOVED to have a Beastie Boy on my arm...just because that would have looked cool.
You know who DID have a Beatie Boy on her arm in the 80's???
Miss Molly Ringwald - W00T.

Adding to the list of reasons why she will always be this blogs "it" girl :)

PARKER.... BACK IN ACTION......

So, if you didn't pick it up from Libby quips.... I have been out of action for a bit.

Despite my best efforts to live a John Hughes life and live like the Buellers -- happy married in a lovely home in a suburb... alas it was not meant to be.

I recently separated from my husband. 

17 years.

And now I am back in action.  In more ways than one.

Cue Elton John's Rocket Man and hand me my silver hoops...... Do you want to come in and watch Much Music?

A special shoutout to my girl Libby.... who stood by me the ENTIRE time.... you name it -- she was there.

A flip of the bird to all the a-hole hockey moms who said mean things and tried to Mean Girl me.  You suck.