Monday, 27 February 2012

PARKER'S HUMOUR STRIKES AGAIN


I have been laughing to myself for 2 days.
Parker sent me a text over the weekend saying she did a celebratory shooter.
What's making me laugh is, FIRST, the name of the shooter and SECOND, in a matter of months thanks to the ebbs and flow of life, Parker and I are returning to things we thought we left behind in the 80's.
Life is a funny, funny thing :)

Friday, 24 February 2012

PARKER'S HUMOUR SENT ME TO SUMMER SCHOOL

It's true, Parker has always had a GREAT sense of humour.
To this minute her humour continues to carry me through.
In High School, it entertained me to no end.
So much so, that I bombed Grade 9 English and Math.
Parker was a disciplined academic who could compartmentalize and turn off the sillyness.
I could not and even if I could have, I would have chosen NOT to.
I was like a kid in a candy store in the 80's.
In Grade 9, education was the very last thing I was interested in.
I lived for the gossip, the boy sightings, Parker's jokes, the class clowns.....and I went to High School for the fashion show.
Did Summer school correct this problem?
Nope. Not at all. Plus my Parker wasn't there to tell me to smarten up.
Think about it: Who attends Summer school?
ALL the people, OTHER than Parker, who entertained the shit out of me :)

I TOUCHED IT

I was just emailing with Libby and we thought of two more expressions from high school that make us collapse laughing.....

"I touched it".

Used in a sentence:
Parker: Did you kiss him?
Libby: I totally touched it.
Parker: (in awe) wow.........


"They're doin' it"

Libby: Dontcha think she's walking funny.
Parker: I bet they're doin' it!
Both:  (hysteric laughter) Ewww!!!!

Thursday, 23 February 2012

I AM A 17 YEAR OLD BOY

Parker here.

I have always known that I have the sense of humour of a 17 year old boy.  You would be embarrassed for me if you knew what made me laugh.  Often hysterically.

After reading Libby's post about our mutual high school friend whose slogan was "I''ll do ya" it got me thinking about my favourite expression from high school...

"Everything but..."

Used in a sentence:
Libby: How was your date last night?  Did you make out?
Parker: Oh yah.  We did everything but.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

RHIANNA -- YOU ARE BANNED!!!!!!!



Parker here.

I have had to take a break from pop culture and blogging.

I would like to tell you it is because I am off on a dirty weekend with Kevin Costner.... alas that is not the case - however Kevin if you are reading this I am game.

I CANNOT, I repeat CANNOT cope with Rhianna reuniting with that double-dog douchebag Chris Brown. 

She may have forgotten how he beat her face.  But I have not.

Chris Brown has been banned in my house since 'the incident' and Rhianna is now banned too.

However - Miranda Lambert, HATER of Chris Brown is the honorary queen of my castle

Monday, 20 February 2012

TROUBLE IN RIVERDALE

Betty and Veronica used to be the only ones who fought over Archie.
In this image provided by Archie Comics, the comic book cover for issue "Veronica 202," is shown. Tension has been mounting between the two co-Chief Executive Officers at Archie Comic Publicationsí suburban New York Headquarters. The CEOs, a son of one founder and the daughter-in-law of another, are locked in a bitter and sometimes bizarre feud. (AP Photo/Archie Comic Publications, Inc.)
Did you know, Archie has married and divorced both of them now.
Anyway, things are getting NASTY in the CEO's office....unbelievably nasty.

IT NEVER ENDS

Is it just me or does anyone else break out in zits after stressful events have calmed down?
Thanks to January's and February's non stop shit show around here, I have the pizza face of a 14 year old boy.
Now the zits are stressing me out...it's a never ending cycle....and yet I am 42 years old.

Saturday, 18 February 2012

HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE HER

Whitney Houston and Kevin Costner attend ‘The Bodyguard’ Hollywood premiere in Los Angeles on November 23, 1992
I used to be CRAZY about Kevin Costner.
Then he let me down and I had no use for him or his movies, old and new, anymore.
Today I am crazy about Kevin Costner again.
His eulogy for Whitney Houston was wonderful.
Heartfelt and personal.
Not only was he her Bodyguard in the movie, today, in light of all the rotten things that are being said/written about her and the speculation surrounding her death, Kevin still has her back.
What I love most about Kevin's eulogy is we know he said these kind and encouraging things to Whitney when she was alive. You know he treated her like a precious gem, promoting her sense of self worth and Whitney would have known too.
To me there is nothing sadder than a eulogy of kind words that went unsaid DURING the persons life.
Kevin, ya done good.
Kevin Costner Bids Farewell To Whitney Houston

PUT IT IN WRITING

Parker, my husband Wyatt and I all attended the same High School and we were friends.
Today while looking for something else, a pile of our high school year books fell on my head.
I took it as a sign.
Not the obvious sign to clean my house.
A sign to open them up and have a look.
I came across a grad photo of another friend of ours.
She was a good student, very bright and she was fun.
In the write up beside her grad photo that the student writes about themselves,
she listed "I'll do ya" as one of her own quotes.
As I said, we knew her very well and so we know that quote meant exactly how it sounds.
Teenagers think they are so clever.
At the time we thought that was funny as hell.
I wonder if she has ever gone back and looked at that year book.
3 (now teenage) daughters later, I'd suggest she burn that sucker to prevent them from using it against her.

SUMMER ROAD TRIP TO LYTHAM ST.ANNES U.K. WHERE EVER THAT IS?

This next scoop reminds me of the movie: "Music and Lyrics"
Music and Lyrics Poster

but who cares because it would be so much FUN and OMG, only £24.50 for one week only, saving £5 off the normal price of £29.50......

Taken from Lytham St Annes Express:

A GLITTERING selection of iconic 1980s pop stars will headline the opening night of this summer’s Lytham Proms Festival Weekend.
It’s time to dust off the leg warmers, grab the shoulder pads and start rocking that perm as Rick Astley, Bananarama, The Real Thing, Belinda Carlisle, Toyah, Curiosity Killed the Cat and T’Pau come to town.
The show, on Friday, August 3, is entitled ‘Here and Now, The Very Best of the 80s’ and is being billed as the Fylde Coast’s biggest party ever.

RICK ASTLEY
BANANARAMA One of my favourite groups from the 80's.
BELINDA CARLISLE Parker's favourite.
(note: the woman doing the intro on this video looks like she has to pee)
T'PAU
( note: the lead singer looks like Sarah Ferguson - The Dutchess of Pork.)

It promises three hours of non-stop memorable super sounds as it features the stars performing back to back hits, accompanied by a live band.
A spokesperson for St Annes-based event organisers Cuffe and Taylor said: “The line-up is terrific and it promises to be a night of fun and dancing.
“The Friday night of the Proms is traditionally our Heritage night, so this fits in perfectly.
“We hope the audience come along in great spirits, ready to dance and sing the night away while sipping a cocktail or even glass of something fizzy from the event bars.”
The 80s stars coming to Lytham figured prominently in the pop charts during that decade.
Rick Astley, renowned as the office boy for producers Stock Aitken and Waterman who made good, followed a debut chart-topper with Never Gonna Give You Up by chalking up seven more top 10 hits.
American Belinda Carlisle hit No 1 with her solo debut Heaven Is A Place on Earth in 1987 and went on to enjoy five more top 10 successes up to the mid-1990s.
T’Pau, led by Carol Decker, produced one of the iconic chart-toppers of the decade with China In Your Hand, while the Real Thing’s first two hits reached No 1 and No 2 respectively in the mid-70s and again made the top 10 on re-release a decade later.
Bananarama, a trio back in the 80s and now a duo, had 10 top 10 hits between 1982 and 1989, while Toyah and Cuiosity Killed the Cat each enjoyed three top 10 successes.

MY 18 MONTH OLD CAN READ??? WHO KNEW???

Yesterday my 18 month old, very busy bee toddler, was using this help him slide faster around the floor on his hands.





He pressed open on the CD player and carefully removed this CD from his collection.
He owns Baby KISS, Baby Michael Jackson, Baby Cure, Baby Aerosmith, Baby Beethoven.....yet Baby Madonna was the CD he chose to unintentionally scratch the shit out of.
He's not a distructive fellow, he just likes to move fast.
Either he loves her or he is reading Mommy's blog.

Friday, 17 February 2012

THE KID - RIP


Even more sad news.
Gary Carter aka "The Kid" died yesterday of brain cancer.
Gary Carter was my favourite Baseball player...he was everyone's favourite.
Tucked away in my trunk of memories from childhood is my #8 Expos baseball jersey.
I was a little league catcher.
My dad, who as a teenager chose pursuing a higher education over pitching for the Cleveland Indians, coached my team.
My dad and Gary Carter were my hero's.
Carter was a Hall of Fame catcher who was one of the cornerstones of the
Montreal Expos “Team of the 80s.”
He was an 11-time All-Star and three-time Gold Glove winner.
His bottom-of-the-10th single in Game 6 of the 1986 Series helped the Mets mount a charge against the Boston Red Sox and eventually beat them.
Carter was instantly recognisable on the field, his curly locks beneath his helmet, his strong stance and that gorgeous ear to ear smile.
The man had charisma.
Gary Carter was the quintessential athlete and roll model.
The game was his priority, the fans were appreciated, he was a philanthropist.
A family man and true gentlemen all the way around.
Too bad the sports world is a shit show now.

Thursday, 16 February 2012

MISSING WHEELS

Good Lord.
It has been confirmed that Neil Hope passed away Nov. 25, 2007.
He played "Wheels" from the Canadian TV series Degrassi Junior High from 1987 to 1991.

This man has been dead for five years and no one NOT even his family knew.
I guess Hamilton Police found a man dead in a rooming house and left it at that.
Obviously Neil had hit the skids over the years and did not maintain contact with anyone who knew him.
But still, dont the police have a responsibilty to notifying someone?
"Director Kevin Smith, a longtime "Degrassi" fan who appeared on the show as a guest star, tweeted about Thursday's news and said Hope "he will be missed."

Not to be insensitive but....obviously not.

Only in Canada Eh?

FLASH BACK TO THE FUTURE

Friggin' WILD to watch this 1985 video today, knowing what fate had in store for so many of them...
In 1985, they were world famous and we loved them for their MUSIC.
20 + years later and I know more about these people's daily happenings, phone calls, medical records, sexual exploits and preferrences, and private lives then I do my own friends.
Paparazzi and tabloids have since given us every dirty detail of their private lives.
Put it in perspective; to know so much about someone I haven't met and who has no clue about me, makes me feel creepy.

IT'S TIME

It's time we go back to 1985 and get happy.
God Bless this Cougar and the young Canadian Boy.
Goosebumps and instant happiness.
DAMN THEY CAN ROCK.

GOOD QUESTION

I think Parker should wear this to her next meeting.

Tuesday, 14 February 2012

JUST A RECAP FOR THOSE WHO ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO NOT KNOW...

New Edition WAS a boy band from the 80's.
They were from the slums in Boston.
They hit the height of their popularity (I am not sure on what planet) in 1983.
These were their claim to fame hits:  1983's  "Candy Girl" and 1984's "Cool it now" and "Mr. Telephone Man".
Some of them went on to be Bell Biv Devoe.
Bobby Brown went solo and to my knowledge had two hits; "My Prerogative" and the theme from "Ghost Busters 2" mission.
Bobby Brown then went on another solo mission. He married Whitney Houston, had a child with her, destroyed Whitney Houston, beat the crap out of Whitney and got her hooked on drugs.
Presently, the members of New Edition have reunited to celebrate their 30th year anniversary and to tour as a group of irrelevant old men.
Bobby Brown performed his two New Edition songs within 3 hours of the news of Whitney Houston's shocking death.

WHERE WAS BOBBY BROWN.....

Bobby Brown was busy.
Bobby “powered through” meaning he went ahead with New Edition’s concert the same evening he found out Whitney died.
Whitney died around 4PM and Bobby was on stage at 7PM.
7PM and already capitalising on Whitney's death by calling her name out to the sky during his songs.
A true professional.
Bobby Brown has now taken leave from the New Edition Tour to be with his daughter.
Good to see Bobby being by Bobbi’s side several days after her mother's shocking death and after her own TWO trips to the hospital.
I guess breaking the tour contract with the Local Mall would have been a difficult thing to do...where else would New Edition be singing these days anyway????
Very gracious of New Edition to send their love and well wishes.
True gentlemen - the whole lot of them.

Monday, 13 February 2012

REALLY BOBBY BROWN? REALLY?

He arrived TODAY to see Bobbi Kristina.

The same Bobbi Kristina who lost her mom on SATURDAY.

The same Bobbi Kristina who was hopitalized for anxiety after her mom's death.

I'll say it again.

DOUCHEBAG.

bobby BROWN. chris BROWN.

Both douchebags.

Sunday, 12 February 2012

EVERY WOMAN

Last night, the news of Whitney Houston's death, hit me like a ton of bricks.
It has shaken me up, in a different way, but just as much, as the news of Michael Jackson's death.
I love(d) Whitney Houston.
She was the one pop singer from "our" time growing up who was beautiful, otherworldly talented and so, so elegant.
She never needed to sell sex appeal.
She was classy, she was lovely, she was stunning.
Whitney won two Emmy Awards, six Grammy Awards, 30 Billboard Music Awards, 22 American Music Awards during her record-breaking career. Her album "Whitney" was the first female album to ever debut at #1 on the Billboard Charts. She has sold 200 million albums world wide
.......and then....she hooked up with Bobby Brown.
Her voice was amazing and like Parker expressed in her post, Whitney's songs also carried all of us through many teenage experiences.
I think every girl and every woman should give their head a serious shake if they think involving themselves with a bad boy is worth it.
It's not right and it's NOT okay.
The blood stains are all over Bobby Brown's hands and yet HE will continue on.
In this day and age, it's easy to see how he will go on to capitalise SHAMELESSLY on her life and death with his "it's my prerogative" attitude.
Books? A new album? A reality show?
All most likely just the tip of the iceberg.
Whitney, "Was it really worth it, going out like that?"
I am really saddened.

Saturday, 11 February 2012

HOW WILL I KNOW......



Where to even start.

My heart is broken.

Libby will disown me when she finds out that the death of Whitney Houston is worse for me than the death of Michael Jackson.

I am a woman of a certain age and Whitney and I spent a lot of time together.

In fact we drove all the way to Florida together in 1986.  I taped her How Will I Know off the radio and I listened to it over and over and over on my Walkman as I thought about my bf.... the captain of the football team..... (who went on to dump my ass when he left for university).....

I am just going to put it out there.... I HATE YOU BOBBY BROWN.  Just saying.  HATE.




Wednesday, 8 February 2012

AND SHE STRIKES AGAIN

Parker here.

You will recall that I previously blogged about my 7 year daughter mistaking Ashton Kutcher for Jake Ryan.

Well the Divine Ms N strikes again..... only this time it happen as I dressed for work.

I was in a black batwingish sweater with a large round neck, a black leather skirt, big silver hoop earring and bangles.

She looked at me and said "Mommy - that looks great. Very 80's".

Seriously. She's 7.

Seriously. I did look 80's.

Am so proud.

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

I WANT TO DO THIS

This is hard to explain.
I enjoy celebrating my birthday, perhaps not on the date I was born, perhaps on that date.
Sometimes I like to celebrate my birthday for an entire month.
Sometimes I like to celebrate it at a different time in the year.
Sometimes I enjoy celebrating it with a large group of people, other times, low key.
Birthday's are your own special day and I believe that how it is celebrated and when is everyone's prerogative.
I have people in my life now who stick to the basic birthday rules of: the day you were born, has to be everyone's business, has to be celebrated among them etc, etc...or their feelings get out of joint - Seriously.
Zsa Zsa Gabor is turning 95.
FILE - In this Aug. 15, 1986 file photo, actress Zsa Zsa Gabor is shown Los Angeles. Gabor's huband, Frederic Prinz von Anhalt, is celebrating the ailing diva's 95th birthday Monday by hosting a party at their Bel Air home. (AP Photo/File)
Zsa Zsa Gabor just celebrated a fairly lavish 95th birthday, with approximately a dozen guests, as Zsa Zsa remained behind closed doors at her old fashioned Bel-Air mansion.
I LOVE the idea and I am considering this as a solution for my own birthday :)

On a side note: My mother's toy poodle, when she was growing up, was named Zsa Zsa :)

Monday, 6 February 2012

DID SHE BRING IT TO THE SUPER BOWL?


Madonna's “Vogue” entrance, accompanied by an army of Gladiators on a vast video carpet - IS -Madonna at her finest.
Who's that girl? THAT'S the Madonna I recognise.
Madonna proved that she saved HER pennies and hired the right creative teams.
A creative team, able to put on a spectacle of that magnitude.
They set it up in 8 minutes, crammed all those songs/ themes in to 12 minutes and took it all down in 7 minutes.
Showbiz at it's finest!
The impeccable timing, the lights, the rising stage, the electronic stuff flashing, the dancers and God knows I LOVE marching bands.
Madonna herself?
Tiny Madonna was quickly lost in all the extravaganza.
She showed us that she can move in those mofo high heal boots and even do a few cartwheels.
Telling us to give her all our L.U.V because she is the Queen of Pop.
With the exception of that glorious wicked-ass crown, her wardrobe choices were not good - at all.
Drab, Drab and Yuck.
The Haute Couture designer in me instantly noticed the bottom point of the "V" on her Like A Prayer gown doing something funky.
It did not match up and the zipper was slightly off to the right side. TSK, TSK.

I would say Madonna's performances were at best, mediocre
until.......
Like A Prayer.
Like A Prayer was fantastic, as I expected it to be.
Cee-Lo was an outstanding vocal choice, his voice brought the house down.
I've got to give them both props for performing on that rising chunk of the stage.
The stage seemed to keep rising and in the end it was waaaay high.
I would have shit my pants, gotten vertigo and fainted.
And then BOOM. Ol' Madge disappeared in a huge cloud of smoke.
Such a HUGE burst of smoke that I didn't see the house fall on her.
Ding dong, she was gone ;)

PS: THIS continues to hold court as the best Superbowl Half Time Show ever.
It would appear that Mother Nature helped choreographed the Opening Number.
She made the Purple Rain fall from the sky to the opening music notes.

Saturday, 4 February 2012

DON'T GO THERE GIRLFRIEND

That fateful day has finally come.
It's time for Ms Parker Young to drop her Karl Lagerfeld/Madonna gloves and come rumble with me.
Give Me All Your Luvin' is NOT Madonna at her best.
Madonna at her best was THIS and you know it.
Here are the other Madonna at her BEST's in no specific order:
THIS
THIS
THIS
THIS
THIS
THIS
THIS
THIS
THIS (your favorite)
THIS
THIS
THIS
THIS
Gettin' my point yet Parker? XO
and THIS, should have been her final curtain call. After that song, the party was over for me.
Notice the cowboy hat Parker?
Let alone a Cowboy hat, Acrylic nails, French manicure and frosted pink lipstick all at once.
Don't even try to sass me on this "Ms. She's pretty in a pink frosted lipstick kinda way Parker Young".
I have known you since Borderline, when I dressed like this Madonna, spending Saturday's at the big mall with the food court and we thought Paul McCartney was playing the photographer in this video.

Friday, 3 February 2012

GIVE ME ALL YOUR LUVIN'

Oh Libby...... I am so sorry...... I cannot resist.

I LUV THIS SONG.
I LUV THIS VIDEO.

This is Madge at her best.

THE $300 BAG LADY

Yesterday, Parker suggested I cut Ol' Mag Pie some slack.
I honestly considered giving kudos to her for adopting children and all the work and attention she has brought to Malawi.
I am being sincere.
I don't care what her narcissistic motives were or are.
The fact that she has given two children a new life and is contributing to the improvement of a desperately impoverished area of the world, is wonderful.
But give the stupid enough rope and eventually they hang themselves.
Good Ol' Madge opens her mouth regarding her ticket prices and tells her fans to start saving their pennies:
"People spend $300 on crazy things all the time, things like handbags."
You can't make this shit up.
Her "Off With Their Heads" rationale is truly second to none.
Madonna is a crazy thing and leathery Madonna is a Hand Bag.

 

Thursday, 2 February 2012

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED


Earlier today Ms Libby ALMOST said something nice about Madge.......

This little piece will ensure she never ever does again.

GREEN M AND M'S


My first boyfriend used to save me one green M and M's every lunch.

The reality is that he was a dawg -- but boy did I fall for that trick.........

Then someone told me the urban myth that green M and M's make you horny.

As I sit at my grown up desk on a grown up conference call, I am eating green M and M's and hoping to God they work!!!!!!