BILLY IDOL, INCASE YOU ARE READING OUR BLOG....

Dear Billy Idol,
In case you are reading our blog today, I've taken steps to translate my earlier post in to something you can read.
Obviously I love you slightly more then Parker (actually, probably not.);

BILLY IDOL DOESN'T USE MISTLETOE

Parker asked "White Christmas or White Weddin'?" and I am answering:
Today, at this moment, I would Scapa Fla wif White Christmas over White Weddin'.
I 'eaven and 'ell loike this grahn up Billy Idol.
He's very swanky, 'is aged sneer makes us Orange Peel loike the bloomin' jokes on someone else And
Christmas Billy looks loike 'e may scoot ya past the chuffin' mistletoe and slip it ter ya behind the bleedin' tree ;)
I wouldnt 'ate christmas parties if Billy Idol was there,
I also wouldn't wear underwear....
In fact, I'd thra me Jack Jones Christmas Moriarty if Billy would join us.
Happy Birthday Billy Idol

IN MY DREAMS BILLY IDOL DOESN'T USE MISTLETOE

Parker asked "White Christmas or White Wedding?" and I am answering:

Today, at this moment, I would go with White Christmas over White Wedding.

I REALLY like this grown up Billy Idol.

He's very swanky, his aged sneer makes us feel like the jokes on someone else

AND

Christmas Billy looks like he may scoot you past the mistletoe and slip it to you behind the tree ;)

I wouldnt hate Christmas parties if Billy Idol was there,

I also wouldn't wear underwear....

In fact, I'd throw my own Christmas party if Billy would join us.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BILLY IDOL  

WHO'D YA RATHER?

White Christmas or White Wedding?

I personally like to think the whole White Christmas thing was because he was desperate for money or lost a bet.  There can be no other explanation. However the sneer still, all these years later, turns me into jello.

DON'T YOU TALK TO BILLY IDOL THAT WAY

More birthday salutes to my boy Billy.....
Love,
Parker
xoxoxox

What set you free and brought you to me babe?

And one of his less popular but nonetheless awesome songs....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FIRST LOVE

On the floors of Tokyo (pronounced Toe-ke-oh-oh)
Or down in London town to go, go
With the record selection
And the mirror's reflection
I'm dancing with myself
It's 1983.
 I am 14 years old.
I am wearing skin tight VISA jeans and a pair of Nikes with the tongues out.
I am in the last row at the Civic Centre.

There he is.
He's in leather.
He is barechested.
He is dancing on the speakers.
He is making the "dancing with himself movements".

I am in love.

This was the kickoff of a love affair that continues today.

Me + Billy Idol.

Today is is his birthday.

Happy Birthday Billy. 
Make wish.  It's already come true.

Parker
xoxo

THE GLORIOUS MUNDANE

IMO there is no bigger compliment than being told that I've made someone laugh by turning the mundane in to something hilarious.
Thank you Parker :)
Here's a brief list of those who have made me smile by twisting the mundane:
Parker Young
Regis Philbin
Carrie Bradshaw
John Hughes
Jon Cryer
Tom Robbins
Robin Williams
Brooke Shields (although totally unintentionally and unbenounced to her)
John McEnroe
Ozzie Osbourne
Rocky Balboa
My Mother :)

3 BLOW JOB SHOOTERS PLEASE.

Libby and I have been friends for a long time. 

One thing that Libby does better than most people in my life is make me laugh.  She has a wicked dry sense of humour and makes the most mundane things hilarious to me.

This morning Libby informs me that she is going clubbing.

Being in my 40's I wondered what she would make from the fur.... then I realized that by clubbing she meant going out to a club, not hunting baby seals.

I guarantee that when Libby goes clubbing, if she can stay up past 10pm, she will be partaking in a number of shooters from our past.... sex on the beach, orgasms, bleeding brains and of course.... blow jobs with whipped cream.

I miss the 80's.

NOW HERE'S AN IDEA

MEN WITHOUT QUICHE.

In the 80's real men didnt eat Quiche.
Wok With Yan and Bruno Gerussi of Celebrity Cooks did a lot to bring men in to the kitchen to do more then eat but they did not promote Quiche.



Real Men Don't Eat Quiche, by American Bruce Feirstein, is a bestselling tongue-in-cheek book satirizing the stereotypes of masculinity, published in 1982.
The book was on the New York Times Best Seller list  for 55 weeks, and sold over 1.6 million copies.

2011, a different image regarding men in our kitchen's has been promoted and naturally Quiche cooked and served up by one of these two men, would be devine!
You can Take Home Curtis and Jamie is the Naked one - W00T!
 
Oh ya, these guys call Quiche Tarts :)

SUCK IT TWILIGHT

You will NEVER match the magic of these two endings......... (apologies for the quality of the videos..... however that shouldn't matter because you should already be bawling.....)

PARKER AND LIBBY

I'm the Rhoda.

Libby's the Mary.

I'm the Romy. 

She's the Michele.

WHAT ABOUT PROM?

The three little words that can bring me to tears.

What about prom?

Pretty in Pink is on.... I am left to wonder, even though I have watched it a million times why I am still attracted to Steph?????

I leave you with this.....

A SHOUT OUT TO OUR GIRL DEMI

YAY Demi Moore!
Hallelujah, she's seen the light and is in the midst of kicking that hunky baby cakes Kutcher
TO. THE. CURB.

You may have asked yourself; "WWJRD?"
The answer is: Jake Ryan would have loaded up Ashton in to his father's Rolls Royce and handed the Geek the keys.
In the end, all those Ashton rumours (not Demi's daughter) turned out to be true.
He was moonlighting on their marriage.

WORDS OF WISDOM FROM THE 1980'S

Everyday I receive chain emails from friends.
These are lists of words of wisdom, pleasant thoughts, reminders of gratitude that we are encouraged to pay it forward.
The lists inspire the email recipient to appreciate the simple every day wonders, the things that really matter in the big picture of life.
Today I thought: "How would an 80's list read?"
Well here's what I think;


1) RELAX...DONT DO IT.
2) “Screws fall out all the time, the world is an imperfect place.” — John Bender. The Breakfast Club
3)  Phone Home.
4)  Choose Life.
5) “If you start out depressed everything’s kind of a pleasant surprise.” — Lloyd Dobbler. Say Anything
6) “Nerds, jocks. My side, your side. It’s all bullshit. Its hard enough just trying to be yourself.” — Ronald    Miller. Can’t Buy Me Love
7) “People on ‘ludes should not drive!” Jeff Spicolli. Fast Times at Ridgemont High
8)  Save Ferris.
9)  “Stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s bad for your complexion.” Randy. Sixteen Candles
10)“Everything is not an anecdote. You have to discriminate. You choose things that are funny or mildly amusing or interesting. Have a point. It makes it SO much more interesting for the listener!” — Neal. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles.
11) “Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” — Ferris Bueller. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
12) Party like it's 1999.

WWJRD?

What Would Jake Ryan Do?

When at a crossroad regarding relationship issues, you should ask yourself this simple question: 

"WWJRD?"

He has NEVER let us down.

The essence of Jake Ryan keeps us true to our authentic selves, what we truly want from a relationship and expect from a significant other.

Jake Ryan serves as a relationship compass.

Send us your relationship questions and "WWJRD?" will answer them here - for FREE.



THERE ARE THREE SIDES TO A TRIANGLE

``Bizarre Love Triangle'' is a 1986 single by the English post-punk dance band New Order.
New Order was once Joy Division (another disturbing name for a band (PS: I hate that)....see our post about Spandau Ballet).
Bizarre Love Triangle is considered New Order's most defining hit.
Rolling Stone ranked the song at number 201 in their 2004 ranking of the ``500 Greatest Songs of All Time.'' 
BOTH Parker and I have loved Jake Ryan since the release of Sixteen Candles.
I'd say we share in a Bizarre Love Triangle....

This song is for YOU ~ Jake Ryan ~ from US :)

"Bizarre Love Triangle"

Every time I think of you
I feel shot right through with a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
Living a life that I can't leave behind
But there's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of the fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it goes
And it's what nobody knows
well every day my confusion grows

Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You say the words that I can't say

I feel fine and I feel good
I'm feeling like I never should
Whenever I get this way
I just don't know what to say
Why can't we be ourselves like we were yesterday
I'm not sure what this could mean
I don't think you're what you seem
I do admit to myself
That if I hurt someone else
Then I'll never see just what we're meant to be

Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for that final moment
You say the words that I can't say

***NEW*** FROM PARKER & LIBBY - THE MAKERS OF "THE JAKE RYAN PAPER DOLL"

PARKER & LIBBY PRESENT "THE JAKE RYAN PAPER DOLL"

MODERN LOVE

I find it so strange, with all the technology we have today, twitter, the Internet and TMZ, NO ONE has uncovered any "further" information on Michael Schoeffling's whereabouts.
We know he is a Furniture Maker in Northeastern Pennsylvania with a wife & two kids and that's it.
No present day photos, no helicopter views of his house, no neighbours leaking info to The Enquirer.
In the 80's Jake Ryan was tracked down with a simple note.


This blog is our 2011 version of a simple note to Jake Ryan.

THE PRICE OF FREEDOM - REMEMBRANCE DAY Nov 11th.

LEST WE FORGET

 

In Flanders Fields

by John McCrae, May 1915

In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

JAKE RYAN - THE MAN THE MYTH

I am just going to go out on a limb, going ahead and throwing this out there to the Universe.
Call it "Manifesting", call it "Secret-ing", call it "Field Of Dreams" IE: Build It and They will come....
Don't care what you call it but can someone PLEASE have Jake Ryan...Michael Schoeffling call US.
Parker and I will purchase furniture from this Northeastern Pennsylvania Furniture God if that's the angle we need to take.
Call me crazy but I can't see the Amish appreciating you like we do.
It's been a couple of DECADES since our unrequited love affair(s) started.
Are you concerned because you've misplaced our panties?
No worries Jake, who are we kidding, that pair wont fit these 40+year old asses anymore.
We'll go buy new ones.
Whatever it takes, we remain committed.
Libby XO


When manifesting it is important to have a clear picture, in your minds eye, of what you want.
So THIS is Michael Schoeffling reading our letter...VISUALIZE, VISUALIZE.

CROCODILE ROCK

Have you ever wondered how that little green Crocodile landed on a tennis shirt and became THEE symbol of Preppy?

Glad you asked;

(http://www.infoplease.com/spot/renelacoste.html)

Jean René Lacoste (1904–1996) was famous for his considerable achievements in two very different arenas. Not only was he once ranked the world's top tennis player, but he designed a novel new tennis shirt that became the cornerstone of a world famous fashion empire. Lacoste, nicknamed "le Crocodile" on the courts, is remembered today primarily for the reptilian logo on his ubiquitous sportswear. Fashion historians believe the crocodile emblem (widely referred to as an alligator) was the first instance of a designer logo to appear on a garment.

1920s Tennis Star

Born into a wealthy Parisian family on July 2, 1904, Lacoste did not play his first game of tennis until he was 15 years old. According to the Tennis Hall of Fame, he was not a natural at tennis—it was his drive, discipline, and strategic intelligence that turned him into a tennis phenomenon. No doubt his father's ultimatum also had something to do with his success: Pere Lacoste agreed to let René to pursue his chosen career path—provided he became a world champion player within five years!

 

 

Lacoste later explained the origin of his nickname, "le Crocodile:"

The American press nicknamed me 'the Crocodile' after a bet that I made with the Captain of the French Davis Cup team. He had promised me a crocodile-skin suitcase if I won a match that was important for our team. The American public stuck to this nickname, which highlighted my tenacity on the tennis courts, never giving up my prey! So my friend Robert George drew me a crocodile which was embroidered on the blazer that I wore on the courts.

 

A FEW MEMORABLE SOAP OPERA COUPLES OF THE 80'S.

As The World Turns.
* Holden and Lily
*Tom and Margo
The Bold and The Beautiful.
* Ridge and Brooke
Days Of Our Lives.
* Bo and Hope
*John and Marlena
General Hospital.
* Luke and Laura
* Frisco and Felicia
Guiding Light.
* Josh and Reva 
*Quint and Nola 
*Rick Bauer and Beth Raines
*Phillip Spaulding and Mindy Lewis.
The Young and The Restless.
* Nikki and Victor 
*Traci Abbott and Brad Carleton.
* Cricket Blare and Danny Romalotti.
*Nina Webster and Phillip Chancellor

And did you know, Luke and Laura of General Hospital was the most watched wedding next to Charles & Diana in 1981.

THINK YOU'RE SO SMART? IF YOU CAN"T FINISH THE FOLLOWING SONGS, YOU WILL BE BANNED FROM OUR BLOG

1) 'Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain, and even shared the tears...
2) I've got this feeling that time's been holding me down. I'll hit the ceiling or else I'll tear up this town...
3) When it comes through your door, Unless you just want some more, I think you better call...
4) 'Cause I wonder where you are and I wonder what you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
5) No summer's high, no warm July. No harvest moon to light one tender August night...
6) Oh can't you see me standing here, I've got my back against the record machine...
7) Don't hear your wicked words every day. And you used to be so sweet, I heard you say...
8) I hear your name in certain circles, and it always makes me smile. I spend my time thinkin' about you, and it's almost driving me wild...
9) Move yourself. You always live your life. Never thinking of the future...
10) Caught up in circles, Confusion is nothing new...
11) My best friend told me what you did last night. Left me sleepin' in my bed...
12) That it`s only that thrill, Of boy meeting girl, Opposites attract ...
13) Animals strike curious poses. They feel the heat. The heat between me and u....
14) Back at base bugs in the software. Flash the message, something's out there. Floating in the summer sky...
15) You sit around getting older. There's a joke here somewhere and it's on me...
16) So perhaps I should leave here. Yeah, go far away...
17) I'm all out of hope. One more bad dream could bring a fall. When I'm far from home. Don't call me on the phone...
18) And while I'm away. Dust out the demons inside. And it won't be long before you and me run...
19) We're so wonderfully wonderfully wonderfully Wonderfully pretty...
20) I don't want to be your prisoner so baby won't you set me free...

"OH MY, BABY, BABY, BEIBER" HAS BIG BOOTS TO FILL....

1963 Songs We Sang on the Andy Williams Show	1963 Preview of The Travels of Jaimie McPheeters	1963 We Sing You A Merry Christmas	1964 The Osmond Brothers Sing The All-Time Hymn Favorites
1965 The New Sound of Osmond Brothers More Songs We Sang on the Andy Williams Show	1969 The Wonderful World of the Osmond Brothers (Japan)	1969 The Wonderful World of the Osmond Brothers (Netherlands)	1969 Merry Christmas (Japan)
1970 Hello! The Osmond Brothers (Japan)	1970 Osmonds	1970 Christmas Holiday With The Osmonds (Japan)	1970 Christmas Holiday With The Osmonds (Japan)
1971 Homemade	1971 The Osmonds in Tokyo (Japan)	1971 The Donny Osmond Album	1971 Phase III
1971 To You With Love, Donny	1972 Little Jimmy (Japan)	1972 The Best of The Osmonds (Japan)	1972 Portrait of Donny
1972 The Osmonds Live	1972 Amor Infantil (Mexico)	1972 Los Grandes Exitos De The Osmonds (Mexico)	1972 Portrait of Donny Osmond (Asia)
1972 The Osmonds Live (Japan)	1972 Too Young	1972 Crazy Horses	1972 Killer Joe
1972 The Sensational, Incredible, Fantastic Osmonds (New Zealand)	1972 Down By The Lazy River (France)	1972 Golden Hits (Greece)	1972 The Osmonds Live (UK)
1972 Merry, Merry, Merry Christmas (Japan)	1972 Crazy Horses (Germany)	1972 My Best To You	1972 Portait of Osmonds (Japan)
1972 14 All-Time Hits (Taiwan)	1972 Osmond's Greatest Hits (India)	1973 Alone Together	1973 Alone Together (Germany)
1973 The Plan	1973 The Plan (Germany)	1973 Paper Roses	1973 A Time For Us
1973 Donny Osmond Superstar	1973 Portrait of Donny Osmond (Japan)	1973 16 Yesterday Hits (Asia)	1973 Perfect The Osmonds (Japan)
1973 Perfect Donny Osmond (Japan)	1973 Our Best To You (UK)	1974 In My Little Corner of the World	1974 In My Little Corner of The World (UK)
1974 I'm Leaving It All Up To You	1974 I'm Leaving It All Up To You (Spain)	1974 Love Me For A Reason	1974 Donny
1974 The Collector's Edition	1974 Lo Mejor De Lo Mejor De The Osmonds (Mexico)	1974 Lo Mejor De Lo Mejor De Donny Osmond (Mexico)	1974 Osmonds Greatest Hits (Korea)
1975 Little Arrows	1975 Who's Sorry Now	1975 The Proud One	1975 Make The World Go Away
1975 Around The World Live In Concert	1975 Pop Power Crazy Horses (France)	1976 Featuring Songs From Their Television Show	1976 Hugo The Hippo
1976 Disco Train	1976 Brainstorm	1976 New Season	1976 Osmond Christmas Album
1976 Just For You (Japan)	1976 20 Greatest Hits (New Zealand)	1976 The Best of Osmond Brothers (Taiwan)	1976 Donny & Marie (Taiwan)
1977 This Is The Way That I Feel	1977 Donald Clark Osmond	1977 The Osmonds Greatest Hits	1977 Winning Combination
1977 Best of Donny & Marie (Taiwan)	1977 The Best of Donny & Marie (Taiwan)	1977 Donny & Marie (Taiwan)	1978 Calpis Presents Donny & Marie (Japan)
1978 The Great Brain	1978 Goin' Coconuts	1978 Goin' Coconuts (Taiwan)	1978 Donny & Marie Taiwan
1978 The Osmonds Greatest Hits (Taiwan)	1979 Steppin' Out	1979 Donny & Marie (Taiwan)	1980 Donny & Marie Special (Asia)
1981 Kimi Wa Pretty (Japan)	1982 The Osmond Brothers	1983 The Glory Of America	1984 One Way Rider
1984 AmericaFest	1984 Serie Platino (Mexico)	1984 Rose Petal Place	1985 Our Best To You
1985 25th Anniversary Album	1985 Today	1985 There's No Stopping Your Heart	1986 Siempre Tu
1986 I Only Wanted You	1988 All In Love	1988 Donny Osmond (UK)	1988 What I Like
1989 Steppin' Stone	1989 Donny Osmond (US)	1990 Best of Marie Osmond	1990 Eyes Don't Lie
1990 Best of Marie Osmond (Germany)	1991 The Osmond Family Christmas Album	1991 The Osmond Brothers & Friends Live (Holland)	1992 Donny Osmond Greatest Hits
1992 Osmond Brothers Greatest Hits	1992 Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (Canada)	1993 Children's Miracle Network 10 Years of Musical Miracles	1993 Donny & Marie Greatest Hits
1993 Back Home	1994 It's About Time	1994 Best of Donny Osmond	1994 The Twelth of Never (Holland)
1994 I Love America	1995 25 Hits	1995 25 Hits	1995 21 Hits
1995 Gonna Be A Heartache Tonight (Hollandl)	1995 The Osmond Family Album (Portugal)	1995 Merrill Osmond Family Christmas	1996 Best of Donny Osmond
1996 Very Best of the Osmonds (UK)	1996 The Osmonds Greatest Hits (Holland)	1996 Osmonds & Friends (France)	1996 Live in Concert (Australia)
1997 The Osmonds Live In Concert	1997 Christmas At Home	1997 Four	1997 How Great Thou Art
1998 From My Heart To Yours	1998 20 Greatest Hits (Russia)	1999 The Very Best of the Osmonds	1999 Gospel Favorites
1999 Christmas Memories	1999 Christmas Memories	1999 Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (UK)	2000 All-Time Greatest Hits
2000 EQ4 Keep The Fire Burnin'	2001 This Is The Moment	2001 Keep The Fire Burnin' (UK)	2001 Back on The Road Again
2001 The Plan	2001 The Osmonds (Germany)	2001 The Osmond Christmas Album (UK)	2002 The Osmonds The Singles (Holland)
2002 Donny Osmond The Singles (Holland)	2002 The Best of Donny Osmond The Millenium Collection	2002 The Best of Donny & Marie Osmond The Millenium Collection	2002 The Best of The Osmonds The Millenium Collection
2002 Somewhere In Time	2002 Somewhere In Time (UK)	2002 Puppy Love (UK)	2002 From My Heart To Yours
2003 The Collection (UK)	2003 Osmondmania (UK)	2003 Ultimate Collection (UK)	2003 Greatest Country Hits
2003 The Best of The Osmonds	2004 Love Songs (UK)	2004 Never Say Never	2004 What I Meant To Say
2005 Together (UK)	2005 I'm On Fire	2005 Unplugged	2005 Keep The Fire Burnin'
2005 Jimmy Osmond's American Jukebox Show	2006 Merrill Osmond Sings Broadway	2006 Swing Time	2006 May All Your Wishes Come True
2007 Love Songs of the 70's	2007 Live By Request	2007 Marie Osmond's Magic of Christmas	2008 The Voice (Europe)
2008 From Donny With Love	2008 The Osmonds Live in Vegas (PBS)	2008 The Osmonds Live In Vegas	2008 50 Years 50 Hits
2008 Dancing with the Best of Marie Osmond	2008 Osmonds / Homemade (UK)	2008 Phase III / Live (UK)	2008 Crazy Horses / The Plan (UK)
2008 Love Me For A Reason / I'm Still Gonna Need You (UK)	2008 Donny Osmond Album / To You With Love, Donny(UK)	2008 Portrait of Donny / Too Young (UK)	2008 Alone Together / A Time For Us (UK)
2008 Donny / Disco Train (UK)	2008 Ultimate Collection (Very Best of the Osmonds) (UK)	2008 I'm Leaving It All Up To You / Make The World Go Away (UK)	2008 Deep Purple / New Season (UK)
2008 Winning Combination / Goin' Coconuts (UK)	2008 50th Anniversary UK Tour The Live CD Glasgow May 20, 2008	2008 50th Anniversary UK Tour The Live CD Newcastle May 22, 2008	2008 50th Anniversary UK Tour The Live CD Sheffield May 23, 2008
2008 50th Anniversary UK Tour The Live CD Manchester May 24, 2008	2008 50th Anniversary UK Tour The Live CD Birmingham May 26, 2008	2008 50th Anniversary UK Tour The Live CD Cardiff May 27, 2008	2008 50th Anniversary UK Tour The Live CD Cardiff May 28, 2008
2008 50th Anniversary UK Tour The Live CD Wembley May 30, 2008	2008 50th Anniversary UK Tour The Live CD Wembley May 31, 2008	2008 50th Anniversary UK Tour The Live CD London 02 June 4, 2008	2008 Classic Rock (Vegas Release) September 27, 2008
2008 A Tribute to Classic Rock	2008 Donny & Marie Collector's Edition	2008 Brainstorm / Steppin' Out (UK)	2009 It's About Time Again
2009 Donny & Marie (UK Release)	2010 I Can Do This	2011 Heart And Soul	2011 Donny & Marie
2011 Live In Vegas